SpruceHill

It's Been A While

 
It's been a while since I've been over here hasn't it. I sorry about that. I have been so busy with trying to get ready for Christmas, running the kids around, and resting. I have been feeling better lately and have had a lot more energy. My chemo seems to be helping with my pain and my cough too. I still have to spend a bit of time on my oxygen at night but it really makes me feel better.

Two days ago my hair started to fall out. Just a little bit and I was sure that it would stop after a bit. Well I was wrong it's still falling out in handfuls and handfulls. I haven't had the motivation to shave it yet. I keep wishing it would just stop falling out. Now though I have several bald spots, so it looks like it's inevitable. I was really hoping I wouldn't lose it again. Being bald isn't much fun, and I gave away all my scarves when my hair grew back last time. Oh well, I would trade my hair for getting better any day.

I've been able to get up and make some cookies too. Not as many as I usually make, but everyone seems not to mind. I think they are glad just to get something homemade. I still have plans to try and make a couple more batches. I need to start hiding the ones I've made though they seem to be disappearing very fast.

I have chemo this Thursday which I am not looking forward to but I am really excited about Christmas and spending some time with Hubs and my girls with no school and work. We have our cousins coming in too. We will be very busy.

I'll be back before Christmas. I have some posts planned, and will give you a hair update as soon as I decide what to do.

 

 

Finished With Hats!

 

Yesterday when I picked my girls up from school I went with out my hat. For the first time. I was a bit nervous at first, but it was all good. I got lots of comments on how fast my hair is growing. Lots of smiles and encouraging words. It was a big step for me.

Wig Update

Well the wig cut went well. There was just sooo much bush in the front. DP did a really good job thinning it all out. I wore it out of the shop and I didn't feel to weird. It is still itchy though. My head is pretty itchy even with a cotton cap on. I still have stubble on my head and it just itches all the time. I have tried lotion but it does not really help much. At home I just walk around bald. Once and a while I catch my refection in the mirror from the corner of my eye and I startle my self. Sometimes I just plain forget about my baldness.

I was trying to explain to a friend yesterday, for some reason I feel more confident in a scarf than I do my wig. I don't know why. My wig makes me look normal, Like I don't have cancer. Somehow I feel as though this makes me feel like I am hiding. I almost feel like my baldness is a badge of honor that I wear. To show my strength in my fight with cancer. With my wig on I just look like any other person. My friend said that maybe I feel funny in my wig because I am not who I was before I had cancer. That now I am a whole new person. I feel like she is right. I am not the same person I was before. I feel as though cancer has transformed me. Almost like a caterpillar is transformed into a butterfly. The old Sarah Is gone. The new Sarah is alive and well and living a new life. A good life. I feel blessed with everyday that I have. I have been more attentive to my children and husband and I am enjoying the little things in my life. I would have never thought that my life journey would lead me here, but somehow I am glad that it did.