Wig Update

Well the wig cut went well. There was just sooo much bush in the front. DP did a really good job thinning it all out. I wore it out of the shop and I didn't feel to weird. It is still itchy though. My head is pretty itchy even with a cotton cap on. I still have stubble on my head and it just itches all the time. I have tried lotion but it does not really help much. At home I just walk around bald. Once and a while I catch my refection in the mirror from the corner of my eye and I startle my self. Sometimes I just plain forget about my baldness.

I was trying to explain to a friend yesterday, for some reason I feel more confident in a scarf than I do my wig. I don't know why. My wig makes me look normal, Like I don't have cancer. Somehow I feel as though this makes me feel like I am hiding. I almost feel like my baldness is a badge of honor that I wear. To show my strength in my fight with cancer. With my wig on I just look like any other person. My friend said that maybe I feel funny in my wig because I am not who I was before I had cancer. That now I am a whole new person. I feel like she is right. I am not the same person I was before. I feel as though cancer has transformed me. Almost like a caterpillar is transformed into a butterfly. The old Sarah Is gone. The new Sarah is alive and well and living a new life. A good life. I feel blessed with everyday that I have. I have been more attentive to my children and husband and I am enjoying the little things in my life. I would have never thought that my life journey would lead me here, but somehow I am glad that it did.

Comments

[Judy]

I totally understand. I have a wig that everyone said I looked great in, but I just didn't like wearing it. I saw my face with someone else's hair and it didn't seem authentic so I've been wearing scarves and hats exclusively. They feel like ME.

Yep, go with what you're comfortable with, that's what I say.

[Les]

You look great bald AND with the scarves, so you should just go with what feels right! You did a good job explaining how your new look represents the real you.

It's funny. Once the big things that we PLAN for happen--marriage, houses, the kids...we think we've arrived, that we're "done." We're grown up! But it appears that we're never done growing up--life keeps happening to us and we've got to keep growing. And even when it's scary and sometimes sad, I think it's a good thing.

I've always liked EVERY Sarah that I knew, but you continue to grow into a wonderful person!

[Gin]

I had thyroid cancer three years ago and told my cancer counselor that I didn't feel I had the right to say I had cancer because I didn't have chemo, because it was the easiest cancer around.

After reading what you wrote, it brought me to tears. The change anyone goes through during any kind of cancer where surgery is involved goes through such a metamorphosis. No one can prepare you for the journey you will take.

This I've learned. I hope that today you have a great day and all of the tomorrows to come that they continue to be blessed and joyful...

[Alice C]

What courageous and positive words. That inner strength will carry you on the difficult days.