My Chloe

It's been quiet around here in the last week. I celebrated my two year cancer anniversary last Sunday. It is such a good feeling to say I am a two year cancer survivor. Then last monday I had an appointment with a specialist for our yellow lab Chloe. She has been back and forth to the vet for sometime now with a chronic sneezing, snuffing and gagging. We had the appointment to talk to a specialist about doing a scope on Chloe to see what was going on up there in her nose. I loaded her up into the back of the truck and we set off for the hour long drive to Baltimore of all places. She has never been any further then our hometown much less to the city. She did great and I took lots of treats along with me and some water in case she got thirsty. We met with the specialist and he was concerned after looking at her xrays. They showed a spot in her nasal passageway that had shown noticeable change in a short period of time. His feeling was that she has a mass that is growing in that small area. Her eye has changed on that side as well. My fears had been confirmed and I did not need to put her through the procedure to know deep down in my heart that there was nothing that we could do for her.

 I loaded her back into the car and headed home, my head spinning. Chloe is the first dog of my very own, while I have had lots of pets in my lifetime she is my first Fur-child. When I returned I emailed her vet, my husband's cousin telling him what the specialist had said. Then on Tuesday I talked to him on the phone to let him know that we were not going to do the scope, it was a very hard conversation to have. He was so great and explained to me that there was no right and wrong decision on my part. We talked about what our plan would be to make her more comfortable.

She is comfortable and the medication is doing it's job. She is a bit peppier now that her pain is being managed. She is being utterly spoiled by everyone in the house. She has blankets all over the house in her favorite places that she likes to lay and nap.

Yesterday I had to tell the girls that I didn't know how long she would be with us, and that she would let us know when it was her time to go. They took it pretty hard. My kids have had a tough couple of years with my cancer diagnosis and treatment. I wish I didn't have to have this conversation with them. Just one more heart wrenching thing going on in their lives. It doesn't seem fair.

 
 So now we wait and enjoy Chloe's company. We laugh about her bad breath and her constant flatulence. We give her endless treats and extra gravy in her dinner, and lots and lots of kisses and scratches. I see changes in her everyday, noticing how much she has aged in the last few weeks. She sticks to me like glue and follows me where ever I go. So for now I am home keeping her company, just like she never left my side when I was sick from my chemo and surgeries two years ago. Making sure she is not alone.

Comments

[molly]

oh, sarah. this gets me all teary. what a good dog.

[laurie powers]

Your post made me cry. I have two dogs that are getting up there now - 9 and 7. She's so lucky to have a mom like you, and you are doing the best thing in making her comfortable and loved.

[Julie]

I am sorry for the bad news!
I have a Chloe myself at home and my heart aches for all of you. She is so lucky to have all of you. You are doing the right thing by her. And she knows it! I'll include Chloe in my animal prayers to St Francis. Julie

[Elle Bee]

This is so sad, and so sweet at the same time. Companions through it all--you are eachother's heroes. Chloe is blessed to have you in these moments. You are a very good fur-child mom.

[Marla]

I'm so sorry for Chloe, your daughters, and you of course. Hold in there. Know that she's had a great life and will appreciate everything you do for her.

http://asthefarmturns.wordpress.com/

[DVMsWife]

Awww, Sarah, I am so sorry. Our fur babies take up such a huge part of our hearts. I so feel your pain. My daughter's cat became quite ill last year and was only three years old. It was so very hard to let her go. And it hit my daughter very hard. I love the pictures you took of her and I know you will find many places to hang them around your house! You are doing all that you can for her. She is so loved. Such a sweet ole girl! Hugs to you Sarah and your family.

[fifi]

oh, too sad. This made me weep.
Enjoy your time with her.

[Mary]

I witnessed the effect the loss of a long time family dog had on the kids of a friend of mine - it was so hard for them - I feel for you all ..treasure these moments as I know you will..

[CrazeeTeacherLady]

She is so lucky to have a mom who will be with her to the end.

[drivingrein]

Remember, good friend....when it comes time it will be Chloe telling you. But you have to listen. It's the quality of life, not the quantity. Dogs don't keep calendars. And as her life ebbs you can send her to a better place. A place of endless love, lots of gravy and balls to chase. You alone are responsible for ending all pain until you meet again over the Rainbow Bridge. Take care...hugs.

[Pony Girl]

Oh no, so sorry to hear the sad news about Chloe. I love how you call her your fur-child. She is so beautiful and obviously very precious to you and your family. I am sending warm thoughts and prayers to you and your family!

[Dandy]

Well I'm a mess. She is so lucky to have such a loveing family. What a beautiful dog. I'm sorry about the diagnosis and know she will live out her last days in happiness.

[kristyn]

First, congratulations on a wonderful anniversary!
and second, I'm so sorry to hear about your fur-child. looks like you're loving on her to make her feel extra special.

[Di]

Chloe deserves to be at home with her family and not being poked and prodded by scopes and needles. I'm a firm believer in keeping our pets comfortable for as long as possible when they are extremely ill and letting them go when the time comes.

She's a beauty and knows how much she is loved.

Hugs to you and your family as you spend these special days with Chloe.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

[Stephanie]

I'm so sorry that you guys have to go through this. We lost our beloved cat (to cancer no less) a month before I started chemo. It was a blow...

[Miz Booshay]

I'm so sorry to hear about Chloe.
She is just so sweet.

[Kate]

I am so sorry to hear of this. It reminds me very much of our former border collie, Ralph. He was at my husband's side day and night, through his sickness and chemo. It's hard to say goodbye to such a beloved friend.