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quotes

  • Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul. And sings the tune Without the words, and never stops at all. - Emily Dickinson
  • Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato

May 12, 2008

This Gaging Thing Is Wearing On Me!

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Yesterday I made it all the way through the day without gaging. It has been a week and a half since my last treatment and I still am having bouts with nausea. It seems as my treatments go on it is taking me longer to bounce back. Other than the gaging I am feeling pretty well. I have my appetite back and can eat just about anything. Certain things set me off though and I never know when it's going to hit. Lately these are the things that set me off.

The smell of Dove soap- This is weird to me because of all the soaps out there this one is one of the mildest soaps on the market. I switched to this brand on the advice of someone who said it is easier on your skin and is less drying than other soaps. The good news is that we switched to Ivory and it does not bother me one bit (so far).

The smell of Dog food- So I can not feed the dogs anymore. It bothered me when I was pregnant and bothers me now. I can't even look at the stuff.

The smell of our garage- Our garage in the grand scheme of things really (for a normal person) does not smell THAT bad. It is the smell of gasoline and grass cuttings that really bothers me. We keep our lawn mower in the garage next to my car and there is no getting around the smell. I can not just go out another door and be done with it.

The smell of the refrigerator- This I pretty much can deal with in our kitchen refrigerator. We however have an extra refrigerator in our garage. This smell on top of the garage smell is quite daunting. When I go out there to get something I am hit with a double dose of yuck. The garage smell and the refrigerator smell, oh and our dog food is kept out in the garage as well :(

Playdough- Yuck I have nothing to say about this, but yuck!

Swallowing any kind of pill- OK, I have to take medication everyday. It is what prevents my nausea in the first place. It also causes me to gag when I take it. So if I don't take it, it makes me gag and if  I do take it, well you know were this is going we will just leave it at that.

So That is it so far, hopefully I will have four more nongaging days before we start this all over again on Friday. The good news is that this treatment will be my halfway point and I start a new chemo treatment the next time. Maybe this new drug will be a little easier on my gag reflex.

May 11, 2008

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

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Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you!

Happy Mother's Day to all you other hard working Mom's out there too. I hope you all have the restful, relaxing, love filled day you all deserve :)

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I picked these lilacs yesterday from my bush. Lilacs are my favorite! I thought I would share them with you on this special day!

May 09, 2008

My Weekend Project (hopefully)

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When Planning out my non-chemo weekends I try to cram a lot of things into a couple of days. Yesterday I went out to get my Dad a birthday gift and ended up getting flowers to plant over the weekend. It was fun picking out different flowers and colors to plant around my front porch.

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I really liked the deep rich color in these petunias and ivy geraniums. I tend to buy flowers in all the same color groups. The result is that I have a lot of bright pink and purple in my garden. I kind of have to force myself to buy yellow, reds and oranges.

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I stumbled upon this beautifully colored gerbera daisies and thought the color would go well with the others I had already put in my cart. I stepped out of my box a bit with these colors.  They complement each other so well.

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I generally am not the kind of person that likes to step out of my comfort zone. I like things constant and steady. Cancer shakes that up a bit. I find myself thinking "Hey why not,  life is too short for everything to be the same all the time"  "Mix things up a little bit Sarah"

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So I did. And I am glad I did. This morning when the kids went off to school and I had made my trip to Starbucks, I went outside to my front porch to ponder what to blog about today. There where these flowers just sitting there on the porch all wet and specked with rain.  They got my creative juices flowing.  I am so jazzed up about the pictures I took.

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I tend not to look at things closely, to soak in the little things. I am always looking at the big picture.  Planning what I am going to do next. When you are faced with cancer it is hard and daunting to look at the big picture. With treatments and surgeries looming over you. So I have been breaking my weeks and days down into small little pieces. One little step at a time, one week at a time, one day at a time.

I am having a good day.  Even though it is raining outside.  I feel good.  I am not fatigued or nauseous. I have six more days in my cycle of good days. I plan on trying to make the most of them. So as long as the rain holds off for part of the weekend I plan on doing a little gardening in the sun (with my hat and sunblock on)

May 08, 2008

I Miss Coffee and Cocktails!

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I really miss coffee. I am a coffee drinker through and through. I have been known to get into my car in the morning and drive 4 miles to my local Starbucks just to get my fix. Even though I have a perfectly wonderful coffee pot in my kitchen. State of the art, well it does not make espresso but hey that's what Starbucks is for right? I often plan where I need to go by how out of the way it is to get there from Starbucks.  Right now I am really missing iced latte. During my treatment times I can not even smell it with out getting nauseous. I can always tell when I am on the good side of my treatments, I start to want to have some coffee. Today I slammed down a venti iced latte in less than 5 minutes! Yes!

I also really miss cocktails. I am a white wine girl. I love it. I wait breathlessly until five o'clock comes so I can officially say it is cocktail hour. When you are doing chemo cocktail hour is just no fun! I have had two well maybe three small glasses of wine since I started chemo and the guilt alone could kill me. All I can do is think about how I am trying to kick cancer and here I am having a drink. What a bummer. Then I end up pouring it down the drain. Uh What a crime! I should be locked up.

I am really looking forward to July when my treatments are finished and I can get back to guzzling coffee and enjoying my glass of wine on the front porch on a warm summer day!

May 07, 2008

Girls On Their Ponies

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We have the good fortune of living in a valley were horses and ponies are the norm. there are lots of places to just trail ride. We happen to live about 2 miles from our trainer and several people who ride. So the girls get to go out on trail rides once or twice a weekend. In addition to there normal riding lesson days. Now that the weather is warm and the sun is shining. I am looking forward to scenes like this. I just had to post this picture of the girls off on another adventure. It makes my heart happy.

I am feeling really well today and plan on venturing out to Starbucks and maybe even Target. :) It is going to be a good day for riding lessons which makes everyone in the house happy !

Happy Wednesday!

May 06, 2008

I Am Through The Worst Of It :)

I am feeling back to myself today. After two steady days of gaging at everything I think I am finally over the hurdle. I have actually gotten out the vacuum this morning for the first time since my surgeries.  I got some laundry done and cleaned up some bedrooms and even changed some sheets. Oh to do normal things! It feels good!

My cable was also out so this morning I had no TV or computer :)

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May 05, 2008

Feeling a Bit Better Today

I am feeling a bit better today. I was soooo sleepy yesterday. I cat napped most of the day and then went to bed at 9:00. I am not feeling as foggy today.

I have a new best friend. My lint roller. Yup I have been sitting around lint rolling my head. It helps to get the stubble off that is not falling out. It sounds funny but boy it works. I think I have gone through about half of my roller. My head is starting to "shine through" all the stubble. It looks a little weird if you ask me but hey what am I gonna do? I am still holding onto my eyebrows and eye lashes so far. Knock on wood.

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May 04, 2008

Feeling a Bit Yucky

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I have been feeling a bit yucky last night and again today. Not terrible but just a little woozy. It is hard for me to find things that taste good and I am having a little trouble swallowing my meds. My gag reflex is pretty active. This morning I woke up ate breakfast and then went back to bed for an hour and took a nap. It felt good since I did not sleep well. I have also noticed that it is very hard to relax. I get fidgety and just can not sit still. One more day of yuck and then I will feel better! Yay :)

My camera broke two weeks ago so I have been using older pictures or using my daughters camera. I miss my new shiny camera. It takes such nice pictures.

Happy Sunday!

May 03, 2008

Feeling Really Tired

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Ok this is the image I have tried and tried to get up on my banner but for some reason the words do not make it up there so here it is. Hopefully my techy teen aged daughter will be able to get it up by the end of the day. This picture is my favorite of our pony Arial. When ever I give her a treat she lifts up her nose and makes this face. it is soooo cute!

My treatment went well yesterday. Very quick and uneventful. I came home and dosed on and off until bedtime. Then I took my meds and slept all night. I am feeling a little less tired this morning. I am feeling well this morning so far with the help of my awesome drugs. I am off this afternoon for my shot. 45 min up and back UG!

May 02, 2008

Off to Chemo #3

This morning I am off to round #3 of chemo. I am not looking forward to it.UG! I can't wait for it to be Monday! That is when I will start feeling better.

I redesigned my page yesterday but have yet to figure out how to get words in my banner. I will try again over the weekend but probably not today.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Pix_020 The abandon stone house at the end on our lane